I'm sorry, but I have to agree with the first pastor. There is a fundamental misunderstanding among many (not all) protestants concerning baptism. Perhaps, like them, you think that baptism is merely a sign, or public statement that one has received Christ, but according to the Bible it's much more than that. I invite you to study all scriptures in regard to water baptism such as Matt 28:19, Mark 16:16, Acts 2:39, 22:16, 1Corin 12:13, Gal 3:27, and 1Pet 3:21. These clearly indicate that baptism is intrinsically tied into our salvation and is a critical part of our conversion.
Which vindicates the pastor's position that it ought not be taken so lightly that it is done repeatedly; for to repetitiously undergo baptism is tantamount to recrucifying our Lord (as if the first time was insufficient). And we know that this is impossible as we read in Hebrews:
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"For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted the heavenly gift, and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the age to come, if they fall away to renew them again to repentence, since they crucify again for themselves the Son of God and put Him to an open shame." Hebrews 6:4-6 NKJV
No doubt your pastor (correctly) believes baptism to be a sacred sacrament to be performed only once even as Christ was only once crucified for all our sins. And he is also evidence that this isn't some estranged Catholic belief, but is strongly held by all Christians who rightly divide the word of truth.
Another point I want to touch upon is your mother's departure from the Catholic Church. It is true that many people could not develop a close relationship to Christ in the Catholic Church, but more often than not, it's because of lack of adherence to devotional practice. The Church teaches us to not only show up for mass weekly, but to also participate in the many devotions, adorations, meditations, contemplations, Bible studies, and sessions of spiritual and thoughtful prayer. The Church not only encourages us to develop a close and enduring relationship to Jesus, they provide ample opportunity to do so corporately as well as privately.
Many Catholics don't take advantage of these opportunities, and typically, those who don't are not regular even in their attendance of the mass. Then they find Jesus outside of the RCC and they think that the Church had failed them and had to leave the Church to find Jesus. Many of these former Catholics then begin practices that they should have been doing to begin with, such as praying, reading the Bible, fellowship, and public and private worship.
A Catholic never needs to leave the Church to find Jesus, but with that said, for those who believe that it was necessary, more power to them, for if they have attained Christ by any means, I cannot but rejoice. Paul was of the same attitude, becoming a Jew to Jews and a gentile to gentiles; becoming all things to all men that he might win some to Christ. He knew what was most important.
"Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen." Eph 6:24
