Sometimes I tend to get to philosophical and don't really reject nonsense that isn't biblical. On one such night I was writing a PM to Pilgrim and had one of those close and personal experiences with God's soveriegnty. I'm not sure if this works and I didn't send the PM to Pilgrim because it seemed superfulous but still it is crazy that my friend's email came right as I was questioning God's means of working out His sovereignty. I was leading my point with a point about my relation to the church. <br>Dear Pilgrim,<br>I know when you read this that your nose is going to wrinkle and your eyes are going to squint. And I think that you are going to accuse me of making an argument that is nothing more than ornate golden bowl to fill it with excrement (to filtch from Luther). A friend of mine once accused me of turning God into this machine that churns out glory. I must admit that I was a pretentious but somewhat unoriginally creative existentialist non-believer. And every now and then I go through this Eccessiastical crises (the original treatis against existential thought). But here's how I see it at times. The Christian walk is a series of trials and struggles that we can not survive in our own strength. So God puts us through these sturggles to purify us. We survive one of these trials and before we can breath a sigh of relief once again we go under again. God does this to prove to us that we can not do anything a apart from Him. And over the course of a lifetime of struggle we learn that He is everything. But we can not stop struggling because to do so is to fear the loss of God's benevelant sanctification. <br>We have the promise that he will complete this work and I duly thank Him. But why is it that I have this intellectual wall around me seperating me from other Christians who are going through the same process. I was not raised in a Christian home. I can not got to my earthly Father for spiritual advice. Every now and then a unique homegrowner will come my way. But they can only go so far before I become frustrated at the difference between me and them and alienate them. I haven't met a single Christian that was brought out of the world that really interests me that is a contemporary. I trully feel grafted into a strange and somewhat unreachable body. <br>So back to my argument. How is Christian fatalism a bad thing? While the universe is mathmatically procise and the inherently dynamic because God is running the show in an intimate and realistic way. Which is unfathomable because reality is only a plane that we are allowed to comprehend. But here's the rub. I just got an email that I had sent to a sister to encourage her that I had forgetten about. In the email I said that God was passionately in love with her. She then wrote the same to me. So God worked on this level of reality to encourage an encourager. It's so crazy Jeff. My whole argument about being somehow distantly a part of the Christian body becomes moot because this sister who is not intellectually as dizzying as me just reduced me to my state without God. There is no difference between me and her because God is not an elitist in the sense that his salvation is some special club where only the right kind of people are allowed in. Talk about making wise simple. I'm an idiot I guess. But praise God because if I wasn't I'd be going to hell. And more importantly God has shown that He truly is mathmatically procise and inherently dynamic in working things out according to His will and council. Anyway, I think that He worked this all out I hope this encouraging to you becuase I am out of the funk that I was in. I'll file tonight under Romans 8:28-39 and go to bed.<br>
