Anthony, I recognize your questions as sincere and serious. I was raised in independent, fundamentalist Baptist churches. I remained so until in my 20s when various things happened that caused me to study to see if and how I'd been misled. My freewill idea of faith, was a challenge. This Dispensational eschatology I'd been raised on was just a convoluted system that I found explicitly contradicted by Scripture in too many places. I studied my way out and into a sovereignty of God position. I did not do this all on my own 'smarts'. After reading the 'shock treatment' of Lorraine Boettner's The Reformed Doctrine of Predestination, I had my eyes opened. I read after men like John Gill, Robert L. Dabney, Matthew Poole, etc. I was not seeking a pillar of truth to follow as a leader, I was looking for reasoning, logic in how they approached Scriptures. I began to study books on hermeneutics as well. But, I left the question about my sexual problem to later in my life, fearing I'd too easily believe what I wished to be true. At a point in my life, I felt forced to approach my sexual defect using the serious study as I used on the theological issues as found in books like James P. Boyce, a Calvinist and supralapsarian himself. I have come to my position on my sexual situation, using the same approach as I did all of my earlier studies, on the standard subjects of theology.

I do not think homosexual life should be an in your face type rebellion, in spite of what some may think reading my posts. In my eyes a homosexual relationship must be discreet. As far as the male model, the pattern, it should be the good, married men of the body of Christ who the younger look up to as a guide. But, on the other hand we must recognize there are serious difficulties facing many that don't fit so neatly in the pat answers of much of evangelicalism. One thing is, being a theologian does not qualify one to use the terms of psychology and use them in different ways and deny what is known through psychology and common sense, the common experience. No homosexual male would choose such a life, especially if he is a regenerate child of God. It's my nature, now how do I handle it? My theology is strongly Calvinistic in the Baptist way so I cannot fit into a "progressive liberal" church.

The Bible does make quite clear that marriage is m-f, not same gender. I take Jesus words in Matt. 19:12 and apply them to me, recognizing that Bible commentators have understood that "eunuch" is not to be so literal there:

"There are men who from their birth have been disabled from marriage, others who have been so disabled by men, and others who have disabled themselves for the sake of the Kingdom of the Heavens. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it." (Matt 19:12, Weymouth)

So, I turn to a passage in Ecclesiastes as a further guide:

"There is one that is alone, and he hath not a second; yea, he hath neither son nor brother; yet is there no end of all his labor, neither are his eyes satisfied with riches. For whom then, saith he, do I labor, and deprive my soul of good? This also is vanity, yea, it is a sore travail. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, and hath not another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? And if a man prevail against him that is alone, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." (Eccl 4:8-12, ASV)

I prayed for a long time with this as a basis for my plea to God in Jesus' name. God answered and what my companion and I have learned about each other's past and how our personalities match, it is quite clear to me that even before my prayers, God had already been planning and working out the solution my buddy and myself both needed. By the way, I'm not a member of the Log Cabin Republicans either. ;-)

I find 1 Cor. 4:6 to be my guide and it kept me orthodox in faith, and also, it is how I approach my situation: "learn not to go beyond the things which are written". This is why I avoid theological constructions unless forced to do so such as on the Trinity. To me, infant baptism, and sprinkling is not supported by explicit statements of Scripture; but, and I emphasize, I do not break fellowship over matters such as that.