I had been going to a charismatic church for over twenty years and at first I bought into my saying a sinner’s prayer then the pastor declared me born again. My confidence was shaken by my sinning and continued to repeat the sinner’s prayer. I heard a sermon by Paul Washer and I knew the difference of theology meant everything; salvation is of the Lord and not my works or declarations. I now attend a reformed church and I pray to be regenerated, I know with my sins I am lost without divine help, I know I need the Holy Spirit to give me a new heart, but with my past and even present sins is it possible the Holy Spirit has given up on me. I have almost stopped reading my Bible and my feeble attempts of personal prayer. I feel lost and without hope and am too embarrassed to trouble the pastor. I have put trust in Jesus for my salvation, but what if I don't feel any assurance?