Wes - I've always liked you! ;-) The dating has been going on for about 18 months and I was indeed referring to Church discipline.

My Pastor/Session has taken Pilgrim's position...in terms of not having firm biblical grounds to 'discipline'. Yet, both have been counseled, even told that she may NOT marry the boy. She doesn't seem to have a problem with this. ???? The young man does regularly attend our services...but was raised outside the faith and has not made a profession of faith. He wants to make sure it's what he REALLY believes. I can respect that.

....it doesn't help that the gal is an elder's daughter within our church...

I was told that we can't assume the nature/extent of the relationship, however, if they were to get engaged, discipline would surely follow. Short of that...there lacks biblical warrant to discipline...as Pilgrim said.

I think the whole matter stinks...

blessings and thanks to all who responded,