Dear Michael,

In addition to the excellent material given you by Pilgrim, Ron and others, let me offer a few more thoughts.

Those who are able to raise children in a godly household are both blessed (Psalm 128)--as they "see the good of Jerusalem" in the Lord's undeserved mercies--and givers of blessing (Proverbs 1:8-9)--as they point their children to the Lamb of God. Though one can never know beforehand how individual children will respond to the outward call, the faith of the godly mother looks to the glory of God as her motivation in her vital role in extending his kingdom.

Encourage your wife to consider Eve's faith in bearing Seth after Abel's murder (Gen. 4:25), Moses' mother's faith in bearing him when there was no hope for a male child's life, Job's wife's faith in bearing the "second batch" of children after the death of the first, Bathsheba's faith in bearing Solomon after the death of the firstborn. None of these women could foresee whether their children would do well or ill, but we count them blessed because they obeyed the Lord in continuing to bear children for his glory. Even though she was brought much grief through Esau, we count Rebekah blessed on account of Jacob.

Ask your wife to consider whether her association of predestination with fatalism is like the attitude of the servant of the talents parable (Matthew 25:24-25):

'Lord, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you have not sow, and gathering where you have not scattered seed. And I was afraid, ...'

If she sees any similarity in attitude, encourage her to retain, at all costs, all that has been revealed to her of the Lord's grace, mercy, love, and faithfulness; that he is most certainly not, to his children, 'a hard man'; that his predestination of his children was essential to ensure their eternal safety, comfort and blessedness (John 10:27-30).

Finally, I am convinced that many must see doctrine embodied before wholeheartedly consenting to it. Encourage your wife to meet older women who cling to the doctrines of sovereign grace, who have raised children in the joy and security of that faith.

In Christ,
Paul S