I forget who said it, (could have been John Owen) said our hearts are idol factories. So regardless of what the subject is, we have a tendency to prove this quote true.
So when it comes to relationships, possessions etc... when we take our eyes off of Christ and His Word, chances are we will sin. Keep Christ the center and we can’t go wrong. Our goal should be on giving God the glory and we can’t do that without getting to know His Word.
The attraction that Scripture teaches is unlawful is not simply referring to friendship (philew), but rather that which is romantic (eros). Initially, it may not be sexual, but nevertheless, it is a relationship that goes beyond simple friendship. Yes, there is an attraction which is solely lustful, i.e., sexual in nature. One may be attracted to inanimate objects or animals, e.g., you may be attracted by a Ferrari or a TV because of the way it displays the picture, etc. But with humans, an attraction in most all cases is more than cosmetic or functional... would you not agree? And it is THAT kind of attraction which is salient in this discussion and which the word lust encompasses.
Are you saying that engaged couples should always just remain in the friendship stage until after they are married?
Speaking from experience, when my wife and I were engaged if it wasn’t for the Lord, we would definitely have given into lust. For that reason, I recommend engaged couples not to put themselves into situations where they may give into temptation. Lots of prayer and Scripture reading and discussion around these things should be a priority.
Saying all that, although my wife and I were definitely best friends when we were engaged I can’t honestly say that I thought of her as just my best friend. I fell in love with her and that love made me want the Lord’s best for her. I wish I could say that I did that perfectly, but I can’t.
