Robin
There is nothing you wrote that I disagree with and I think it is safe to say that men like Spurgeon, Sproul, James White, etc..., would all agree. However, here is the rub, what you described was my understanding long before I even heard about the debate between Arminianism and Calvinism. I was even in an Arminian Church at the time. Even after an older Calvinist couple took my mom and I under their wing to try to teach us the doctrines of grace. Neither my mom or I really comprehended what they were trying to teach us. It was not until years later, that I really began to understand these doctrines and to be quite frank, although I hated them, I reluctantly embraced them because He is God and I am not. A few years later, as I was reading Romans 9 a light went on and I truly understood that my thinking was clouded by what the world teaches me (i.e. what was fair and what wasn't.) Now I understood my problem was not seeing clearly, because I was not seeing things through my sovereign God's eyes.

I have Arminian friends today that although I can not know their heart, I believe are Christians. We agree with each other that before we became believers, we were fallen filthy sinners. It is only because Christ's righteousness has been imputed to us that we are saved. We also agree with each other that we need to live a life in keeping with repentance.
When I talk to one particular friend, if I didn't know better I would think he was a Calvinist, but although he is not hostile to Calvinism, he disagrees with it on a number of points. In fact, the more I talk to him, the more inclined I am to think that he is just not being consistent with what he says he believes. Our last conversation, he said that he is neither an Arminian or a Calvinist, because he believes Scripture teaches both. I laughed at this, mainly because as I was in the process of embracing the doctrines of grace, I wrestled back and forth with Scriptures that seemed to teach both, but realizing this couldn't be the case.

Tom



Tom