The Highway Forums General Discussion Open Forum Grave Markers?

I went to the cemetary today to water the flowers at my relative's grave stones. As I walked around I noticed many varieties of head stones with different engravings. Some just post the name of the person and the birth/date dates. Some have etched pictures of scrolls, leaves, flowers, bibles, and various scenes along with Scripture verses.

Many of the names on the head stones were familiar to me. I had known many of them while they lived and I thought about the testimony of their lives. As I thought about that I also thought about the place that my body will someday occupy. (at least until Christ returns) It's a sobering thing to do.

As I walked by the sight that some day my wife and I will be put to rest I thought what would people remember about me and what should be written on my grave stone. Often times those decisions are made by our loved ones who survive us. Some people actually chose their head stones while they're living and leave the death date open so that family members won't have to make those decisions.

What would you do and what would you like engraved on your headstone?

Wes

Hi Wes

Interestingly, this is a topic in my family which has sparked much debate. I must apologise for going off topic here, but I would like to find out what the rest of you think of it too.

My 18 year-old cousing died last year, and he was buried. Since then, his grave has been used as an enormous source of encouragement and peace for his immediate family. His immediate family are Christians. The extent to which things have gone regarding his grave have made our family consider greatly the option of cremation.

It is, of course, a very difficult time when a relative dies. And, perhaps a grave can be a stark reminder to relatives and others of just how fragile life is which in turn may help them to keep that "eternal perspective" on things. But, on the other hand... from seeing just how much a grave can in a sense be idolised, I now seriously doubt if it is wise for me to be buried if I die.

"And I will pray the Father, and he shall
give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you forever." John 14:16

"The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

Wes,

I believe that our lives are immanently successful if we take only one thing with us when we go. That, of course, being God's gift of faith alone, in the work of Christ alone, on our behalf.

I do like what Shakespeare put on his:

"Good friend, for Jesus' sake, forbear
To dig the dust enclosed here
Blessed be the man that spares these stones
And cursed be he that moves my bones"

I've already decided, if the Lord does not come first, that mine will be:

"The Lord will dry my tears"

Denny

Roms 3:22-24

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He amid the flood
Of mortal ills prevailing.
For still our ancient foe
Doth seek to work us woe --
His craft and pow'r are great,
And armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.


Did we in our own strength confide
Our striving would be losing,
Were not the right Man on our side,
The Man of God's own choosing.
Dost ask who that may be?
Christ Jesus, it is He --
Lord Sabaoth His name,
From age to age the same --
And He must win the battle.


And tho this world, with devils filled,
Should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed
His truth to triumph thru us.
The prince of darkness grim --
We tremble not for him;
His rage we can endure,
For lo! his doom is sure --
One little word shall fell him.


That word above all earthly pow'rs --
No thanks to them abideth;
The Spirit and the gifts are ours
Thru Him who with us sideth.
Let goods and kindred go,
This mortal life also;
The body they may kill:
God's truth abideth still --
His kingdom is forever.

by Martin Luther (1483-1546).


Y.B.I.C,

Dave.

I think a funeral and a grave site are stark reminders that life is limited by a certain number of years and after death comes the judgment. People who try to avoid thinking about that are fooling themselves and probably living without hope. In my experience its been good for me to visit with family and friends at a Christian funeral where we reflect on the life that's been lived and find comfort in God's word. I don't know how people without faith find comfort in their experiences.

It would be wrong to idolize someone's grave site but it does serve to remind us that they have lived and died. After all we can't live in denial of that fact and unless the Lord returns during our lifetime that's what's going to happen to each of us. I guess it doesn't really matter what is written on the head stone but it does seem appropriate to reflect on the testimony of the person's life. If what is written is carefully chosen then those who come behind us can see that expression. For example my mom and dad have "Witnesses for Christ" written on their's and it truly is how they lived their lives. When I viewed several grave markers this morning I was reminded of people I had forgotten and it was good for me to be reminded of them and remember how they trusted Christ too during their life here on earth. Precious in the sight of God is the death of His saints.

Here are a couple of light hearted examples of what could be written. I once heard James Dobson say that his mother's head stone has the words written on it, "I told you I was sick." Or an example could be my wife's comments about wanting more children than we were given. Since she loves children she told me to write "My only regret in life is that I didn't have more children."

It's interesting when we think about people who have passed on, how we tend to remember the good deeds people have done and forget their short comings. Too bad we couldn't master that when they were alive.


Wes

Here's another lighthearted example:

He may have been wrong, but he was never in doubt.

(A dentist I worked for once had that engraved on his headstone)

Wes,
Before my father died he chose "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain" Philippians 1:2 to be on his grave stone. Short, sweet, scriptural, to the point and an indubitable testimony of where he stood.

Or yet another:

Here lays an Atheist.
All dressed up and no place to go!

"Occupied, but not home."

"Keep Minimum Distance of 30 feet, Resurrection Bones Present."

"I died in having lived, I now live in Him having Died."

Wes,

Your question brought to mind a post from long ago.

(BTW, my point in that post was not to belittle grave marker remembrances of how the Lord has used individuals, for the sake of the living; rather it was the fact that those I was with seemed to think of themselves primarily in terms of their deeds and not the Lord's grace).

I also agree with you about the need for reminders of our mortality, without which the glories of the resurrection begin to seem irrelevant. One of the prices of worshiping in a rented school-building (or other facility) in a city where no new real estate for the dead can be found, is losing the ability to gaze out the window at "the churchyard" and getting a sense of the great cloud of witnesses. I don't think our school board would look kindly upon headstones in the playground; maybe we could arrange long-term rental of some of the hall lockers?

In all seriousness, it was following a Sunday-afternoon outing to a public cemetery (both George M. Cohan and Bat Masterson are buried there, go figure!) that daughter Amanda, 2 and a half years old, started asking deep questions about life, death, heaven, hell. She publicly called on the Lord that day for salvation, and has not turned back since--she just turned 20. sDg

Top notch. Good way to look at it <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/BigThumbUp.gif" alt="" />

Dave,

If you want all that on your head stone you're going to have to order a very large one. Or have very small type.


Wes <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Rick,

That's a excellent verse for a true believer!


Wes

I have decided to allow my family to make that choice seeing as it will be for them and not for me. I couldn't care less if anyone visits my grave; I want them to remember me in the real life places we shared.

Sad but true. Thankfully we can say "Here lies a sinner, saved by grace."


Wes

I like that thought. Another way to say that would be "When Jesus returns I shall rise again."


Wes

<font size="4">DEPARTED THIS LIFE</font>

My grandfather's says: "Thank You, God"

"maybe we could arrange long-term rental of some of the hall lockers?"

Really, you are too funny.

I've always liked the epitaph Benjamin Franklin penned for himself when he was in his early 20's:


Unfortunately, it seems he died an unbeliever.

Chestnutmare,

I was trying to be funny, but that thought just brought back to mind a picture in National Geographic magazine some time ago.

Caveat lector: NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH...

One church's solution to minimal burial space.

Paul,

That's a horrible thought. My relatives would be shocked to see me hanging on the wall because my grave taxes were unpaid. This seems inhuman! Besides who pays for the hall where they are now hanging on display?


Wes

Warning: In case of Rapture, this grave (as well as all other graves) will be unoccupied"

How about "Oh death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

"I told you I was sick"

I had the following text engraved on my sons grave stone:

Proverbs 8:17 (ASV) "I love them that love me; And those that seek me diligently shall find me."

For myself, I am torn between these two:

Psalms 73:25-26 (ASV) Whom have I in heaven [but thee]? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee. My flesh and my heart faileth; [But] God is the strength of my heart and my portion for ever.

OR

Psalms 40:1-3 (ASV) "I waited patiently for Jehovah; And he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay; And he set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: Many shall see it, and fear, And shall trust in Jehovah."

The biggest problem is with both of those two passages, the head stone would either have to be enormous and/or the one having to pay for the engraving very rich.

In His Grace,

Pilgrim,


I must say, these are two excellent choices. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/BigThumbUp.gif" alt="" />

Pilgrim

Ever been to the Roman Catholic side of some cemeteries?
I have seen some that must have cost a fortune.

One example of this is a steel church approximately 8'x9'x10' high. Apparently they did this so that they can go inside and light candles and pray for their departed loved one.

Tom

Pilgrim,

Those are great verses of testimony to the irresistible, sovereign grace of Jehovah!

You might consider having the one you pick engraved in Hebrew: no vowels=fewer letters=shorter=cheaper!

Ah!, but then so few could read and understand!

How about and abbreviated version, "God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

or
"He hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God."

Such excellent ones already!!!!

Yesterday as we were singing at church, I realized something else that would be good: