I haven't read the book by Engelsma, but it sounds like he has a similar view about divorce and remarriage as does John Piper (see
Divorce and Remarriage). After giving the topic some much deserved study, I've had to review and even made a change to my stand on divorce and remarriage. I and the other two pastors at our church are having to come up with an official stand on divorce and remarriage and have been giving it quite some study.
Once I held that if a person was divorced (that is, didn't want to be divorced but was anyway because the other spouse wanted a divorce) then the one being divorced could remarried, but the one pursuing the divorce could not remarried. I also believe that remarriage in the case of abandonment or abuse (physical or mental) was permitted. After doing a more thurough study (due to situations in our church) I've change my understanding of the scriptures. I no longer believe that remarriage is permitted at all, for any reason. Here is why (in short order I hope):
Mt. 5:31-32 - “[31] It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: [32] But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
Here Jesus teaches that not only does the women commit adultery, but the husband who put her away is guilty of her adultery, and that any man that marries a woman divorced is guilty of adultery. Now we have the problem with the word ‘fornication’ (pornea) in stead of ‘adultery’ (moichea). It’s not that Matthew doesn’t know the difference, because he uses 'fornication' and ‘adultery’ correctly in Mt. 15:19, so he must be talking about something other than adultery by someone who is married. Most likely, Christ is talking about the betrothel period, where they are ‘considered’ to be married, but it has not been consummated as yet. Thus, sexual activity by either party in a betrothel would not be ‘adultery’ but ‘fornication.’
Matthew 19:9 - “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Same argument as above.
Mark 10:2-12 - “[2] And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. [3] And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? [4] And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. [5] And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. [6] But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. [7] For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; [8] And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. [9] What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. [10] And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. [11] And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. [12] And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.
Rather than teaching that divorce is permitted (because vs. 9 teaches that it’s not), Christ is teaching that remarriage after divorce is wrong. Here Jesus tells us that the man divorcing his wife commits adultery if he remarries, and the woman that divorces her husband also commits adultery if she gets remarried. Neither the man nor the woman are free to remarry and if they do. Jesus quotes the Scriptures, then make a binding statement, What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Luke 16:18 - “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
In Luke’s account of Jesus teaching on divorce and remarriage, there is not ‘exception’ clause. Divorce is not allowed according to Luke’s presentation. Instead, Luke’s account confirms that remarriage after divorce is adultery, both by the man divorcing his wife, and by the man that marries a divorced wife.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 - “[10] And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: [11] But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
1 Corinthians 7:12-15 - “[12] But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. [14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. [17] For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? [17] But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Now we have Paul’s teaching on divorce and remarriage regarding an unbelieving spouse. Note that Paul does not approve of divorce in this case, rather he is teaching that it is better to let the unbelieving spouse leave than to have strife in the home from the fight to keep an unbelieving spouse. In any event, Paul still upholds the Lord’s teaching that remarriage after this kind of divorce is wrong and adulterous: Paul does not take this opportunity to allow remarriage after an unbelieving spouse leaves.
So here are my thoughts from the above:
1. Divorce is not allowed for any reason, not even fornication or adultery.
2. A man who divorces his wife is guilty of her adultery
3. A man who divorces his wife and remarries is guilty of adultery
4. A woman who divorce her husband and remarries is guilty of adultery
5. A man who marries a divorced woman is guilty of adultery
6. If an unbelieving spouse wants to leave, after all else has been done, let them.
7. A person divorced by an unbelieving spouse is not permitted to remarry, it is adultery.
Of course, these are my understandings from the scripter, and being my opinion, does not make them correct, even though I believe they are.
Blessings in Christ,
Matthew
