The Highway Forums General Discussion Open Forum On Granting Forgiveness

Hi,

I'm new here - hope you don't mind me hopping in on this topic. It is one that I've had to study out in dealing with this very issue in my own life.

Forgiveness is conditioned on repentance. Forgiveness may not be granted to another person until he says, "I repent, please forgive me" or words to that effect. Does God forgive us when we don't repent? No. Forgiveness and repentance are always snapped together in the Bible. The offenders failure to repent, however, does not give us the right to become resentful, nor is it a license for self-pity. We must empty the matter from our hearts in prayer, not dwelling on it, giving it entirely to God, before God, not the offender. We must tell God of our willingness to grant him forgiveness and that we want to be reconciled and that we won't sit and brood about how we were wronged. In that sense we forgive him before God, but we cannot grant forgiveness to the offender until he repents. One person can resolve at least one part of the problem right away.
Freeing our hearts from bitterness and resentment towards the offender does not mean that reconciliation has taken place. Reconciliation cannot occur until there is repentance and the following forgiveness.

Forgiveness always involves 3 elements, which can be followed even if the actual forgiveness cannot be granted:

1)A promise to not bring the matter up to you again (except in the matter of church discipline)
2)A promise to not bring it up to other people
3)A promise to not bring it up to ourselves, ie, dwell on it in my own mind.

There is the matter of Matthew 18:15-17, though, that is to be followed if the offense is between two believers. The only time to say that there is nothing more that can be done about the situation is when an unbeliever and a Christian are involved in an impasse. In the case of two believers, the sinning brother should be reproved privately, in a spirit of love and humility. If he refuses to hear, then he should take one or two more brothers/sisters with him. If he still will not hear, he is to be brought before the church. If he refuses to hear the church, he is to be excommunicated, not for the particular sin that he committed, but for his arrogance, his refusal to heed the authority of Jesus Christ, exercised by His church, not for the purpose of "getting rid" of him, but to lead him to repentance.

Looked for a heart smilie but didn't see it.