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I think that we learn a lot of Scriptures by being in certain situations and praying that God will give us the wisdom that we need. Paul said that he had learned to be content in every situation. That word "learned" is key. It's that same with this topic.
Tom,

Yes, I have learned there are multi-faceted benefits from being in the fire, much as my flesh hates it. You are right, trials and hardships do give us motivation to learn what we are to do scripturally so we can respond in a right manner. On a personal note, I have been through much fire and tribulation (I'm sure it's all relative)in the past couple of years, but I cannot tell you how often I've been able (with God's help) to speak to someone else in a similar situation and to comfort them with the comfort I have been given. So God uses these tough things in our lives not only for our good and His glory, but to prepare us to be used in a way we might not have been before, which is glorifying to Him.

The thought you mentioned on learning to be content, too, is a great encouragement. Even the Apostle Paul didn't just "get it", he had to learn as well, as we do. Related to learning is the idea of being strengthened through use, as in Hebrews 5:14 - "But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." Some of us >>>me laugh need lots of trials to get lots of exercise. wink

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In our family, we have taught our children, that they are obligated to ask for explicit forgiveness, when they sin against another person. Over the years, my wife and I have "learned" that asking for forgiveness, and EXPLICITLY naming the sin, will almost instantly restore the relationship. The Bible says not to "let the sun go down on your wrath," and so we try to keep short accounts with our offenses.

This is a very good thing for you to teach your family and to practice. The Bible nowhere advises or allows (and certainly doesn't command) apology. An apology is an inadequate, humanistic substitue for the real thing. To say "I'm sorry" is a human dodge for doing what God has commanded, and that is the biblical requirement of confession and forgiveness, which are always linked together. As long as Christians continue to say to those they have wronged, "I'm sorry" (or words to that effect), instead of "I sinned; will you forgive me?", and as long as they receive the natural response, "Oh that's all right" or something similar, the real solutions to the to the difficulties will continue to be by-passed.

Apology is wrong, not only because it is man's inadequate substitue for God's revealed method of righting wrongs, but apology elicits an inadequate response. When we ask, "Will you forgive me?" we have put the ball into the other person's court, and a response is now required of him. The onus of responsibility has shifted from the one who did the wrong to the one who was wronged. Both parties are then required to put the matter in the past. And the proper response (Luke 17:3) is, "Yes, I will". Like God's forgiveness ("Your sins and iniquities I will remember against you no more"), human forgiveness is a promise that is made and kept. It entails quite a committment (see the 3 elements of forgiveness I listed in above post). So, an apology is an inadequate substitute because it asks for no such commitment, and gets none. To say "I'm sorry" is nothing more than an expression of one's own feelings. To say, "I have wronged you," and then to ask, "Will you forgive me?" is quite another thing.

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Last edited by Pilgrim; Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:52 PM. Reason: heart added to the smilies collection.