Pilgrim

You are correct that I do indeed have a habit of posting things for other people’s opinions before I say my own opinions. I do not do this because I don’t have an opinion; I just find it helps me to clarify my thoughts. Perhaps this isn’t a good practice, but I think it helps me.

My thoughts are that at times I do not have joy. This is mainly because I came to the Reformed faith through a lot of struggle. Other than on forums such as this one, there are not a lot of Reformed Christians out there.
During my struggle with some of the doctrines of grace, I actually didn't want to believe some of them, because at the time they didn't seem fair. This of course was because of the Arminian teaching that I had been taught.

I also found that when I tried to talk to other Christians around me about Reformed theology, many were not very receptive to it. Some were even antagonistic to it.
I can say now that as I contemplate on God's sovereignty, God's joy does fill me because I know that God is with me, no matter what the circumstance. I know that even things that are unpleasant are meant for my ultimate good.

I still fight the tendency to look to my feelings rather than looking to God for my strength. But Reformed theology does bring me joy (not sure how to describe it), as I actually look to our sovereign God.

Tom