In view of limited/particular atonement . . knowing that Christ died to fully save His elect, rather than, as some assert, to make salvation possible for all:

If I ask God to save me, am I not in effect asking for Christ to suffer the penalty for my many horrific sins, which, otherwise, I would suffer myself?

How do I do that if I love Him?

Would love not ask instead that He be spared this burden, if possible?

I don't have an issue praying for the salvation of others, but, somehow, it seems really wrong to pray for my own, even though, on frequent occasion, I do. The most I can do, without offending my own pathetic excuse for a conscience, is to ask that His will be done in and through me, whatever that might be, and whether that might include my salvation, or not.

I can't bear the thought that Christ might have suffered for even the least of my sins, much less the totality of them.

Is my logic wrong, and if so, how?

If some part of me, however insufficient, aspires to know, love, serve, honor, and glorify God, how do I do that, lacking His indwelling Holy Spirit and the new nature that all real Christians have per 2 Cor. 5:17?

Aspiring student of Christ