Dear Jason:<br><br>Forgive me for interrupting in this discussion, but I had a thought that I think addresses the concerns that both you and Linda are addressing, and it seems to me that you both have legitimate points and questions. <br><br>It seems that, as both your example senario and Linda's experience, as well as scripture, I believe, would define a parent as one who is SCRIPTURALLY looking to the NEEDS of the CHILD, not their own selfish wants or unmet needs. That is why the scripture says "obey your parents IN THE LORD", creating a caveat. Thus, in your senario the daughter is under no obligation scripturally to obey her natural father who is: 1) no longer acting as her parent in the Lord, 2) commanding her to disobey the scripture with respect to "forsake not the assembling together (yes I know it is a friday not the sabath, but the command doesn't limit the time to sunday only and the intent is clearly to fellowship and worship and learn which I assume is the intent of the Reformed conference in the senario). <br><br>Linda's point about an absent or uninvolved father, or worse as Linda points out, involved only to the extent of catering to the false desires of the child and the natural father, are equally subject to the admonition. "Obey your parents in the Lord". Was the advice given to Linda's daughter to become a bartender given "IN THE LORD"? Obviously not. <br><br>What I'm saying is that in cases where there is a prolonged pattern of abuse and abbrogation of the RESPONSIBILITY of being a parent, such biological parent would not, perhaps, meet the definition of scriptural parent. I'm not trying to over simplify a complex legal or scriptural conundrum, but rather to offer some thoughts on how to actually deal with the commands that come to children from their sinful parents. Remember, it is the child that has to sort this out as well as the parents, and the child, youth, teenager has an increasing responsibility to answer to the Lords' wishes, rather, in many cases, than the parents. Remember the Lord's answer as a 12 yr old to his parents that accused him of wrong in staying in Jerusalem? He rebuked their error, but "remained in subjection to them". This, I believe, is given for our instruction. If a child is faithfully taught these things, as Linda pointed out, they they will be able sort out the sins of their parents and their own old sinful nature under the Spirits light on the Word. <br><br>I guess what I'm saying is that if one tries to stay with the intent of scripture rather than getting hung up on the surface, or legal aspect, which was designed to teach a principle, one can sort through these things, if not with ease, then with peace of conscience. <br><br>Gerry
