I wanted to know what those here thought about certain people who claim to be Christian and yet act more like His enemy than His friend.
Case in point my father in law. I was laid up in the hospital last weekand he only came by twice to see how I was doing and stayed for less than two minutes to offer a "prayer" than went on his way.
This man is always trying to show others how good he is all the time by his "good" deeds, but the truth being told, his so called good deeds don't add up enough to fill a thimble. Of course everything he does is for his own glory, not God's and yet he thinks he impress people by acting so pious.
The man is a pastor of a small Baptist church and has a name for being such a strong man of God. He has his rules about not smoking, drinking, cussing and all the like, which he keeps to make him self feel superior to those who do those sort of things and it gives him permission to look down his nose on the unwashed as it were. What he can't see though is the fact that he is greedy, covetous, haughty and very prideful. I can't relate to this man no matter how hard I try mainly because he can't be honest with him self or others and has to be religious all the time.
How do you deal with someone like this who claims to know Him and yet deny Him by his own self righteousness and hard spirit? His oldest daughter was in the hospital last month and she missed being at work over a month and had to borrow money from him to get by till she was able to work. Now she is working two jobs just to pay him back. He could have just given her the money out of love but he is so tight and legalistic he has to have every penny payed back to him even from his own family. I feel for this man, and yet I wish God would expose him for what he truly is and make him see his need of grace that he denies to others.
Proverbs 25:19-22 19 ¶ Confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble is like a broken tooth, and a foot out of joint. 20 ¶ As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart. 21 ¶ If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: 22 For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee.
4Ever:
Perhaps this verse may help you in dealing with your father-in-law. I know that enemies are normally those who want to harm us and we don't consider fellow believers as enemies. However, in this situation, your Dad appears to be walking in the flesh and is practically like an enemy as long as he continues this double standard. As such, you can follow the proverb's advice and essentially embarras him and bring him under the conviction of the Holy Ghost (Spirit).
I know that there is no surety that he will notice and repent his ways, however, your own actions can remain integral. He will have no place from which to attack you in legality as long as your own heart is right and you have fufilled the Law of God by loving. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/argue.gif" alt="" /> I know it is so tempting to take offense, in the natural, you appear to have every justification to do so, but the above scriptural injunction is a good course of action. Who knows that he may take notice that your walk of faith is superior to the legalistic tight rope that he is on.
The man has very little to do with me, and now that I see more of his "Christianity" the less I want to be around him. Is he a Christian? I really don't know, he claims to be one and even preaches, but I would not want to be hand cuffed to him when he dies and goes to meet Jesus. I have tried in the past to get along with the man and at one time thought we were making headway, but now I have seen that it was all for nothing. He does not believe in justification by faith alone or in imputed righteousness, so I have my doubts of the sincerity of his profession of faith. His hero is Finney if that tells you any thing. I pray if God would have mercy on him and break his will and show him his need of God's mercy and grace.
Have you confronted him directly about these things? If not, you ought to do so and confirm whether he bears any fruit. If you have already done so and see that there is no fruit, perhaps it is time to consider this verse:
"But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one" (I Cor. 5:11).
Kyle
I tell you, this man went down to his house justified.
CovenantInBlood said: Have you confronted him directly about these things? If not, you ought to do so and confirm whether he bears any fruit. If you have already done so and see that there is no fruit, perhaps it is time to consider this verse:
"But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one" (I Cor. 5:11).
I have tried a number of times to talk with him in a non confrontational manner, but he is always in a hurry to leave as if he is afraid of being found out. The man shows very little interest in talking about the faith he claims to believe in. he is very strange indeed. Makes me doubt he is truly saved at all. He also hates that I may have more understanding of spiritual matters than he does and his pride can't stand that.
Sorry to hear about your situation with your father-in-law. Sounds like you've done a lot already. The only other thing to suggest is just another heart-to-heart talk with him, if he'll do it. He's either going to listen or continue in his ways. Then there is prayer. And of course that's the only thing that will really change him. My father-in-law is also "annoying" to me in a spiritual sense. He at least doesn't claim to be a Christian, but is heavily into the New Age stuff. I have watched him move from more of an orthodoxy (for lack of a better word) to now the New Age and totally discrediting who God is and getting rid of all of the Bibles in his house because he's concluded they are not the full truth. He gave all of us a present 2-3 years ago for Christmas on his latest New Age kick - some crazy organization called Avatar. I read it. It was just ridiculous but he thought it was so good that we would have it as a present!! Dealing and confronting our family spiritually is probably the most difficult challenge for many. I can't say I've done my job well. But just like anyone else, it's their soul that is at stake, and if it means shaking up things a big well then that a small price to pay isn't it?? I'll be in prayer for you and your father-in-law.
