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#43906 Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:08 PM
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Lynda Offline OP
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We are suddenly not allowed to take our grandchildren to church nor to talk to them about God.

I don't know what to say or do.

Last edited by Lynda; Wed Dec 23, 2009 10:08 PM.
Lynda #43909 Thu Dec 24, 2009 3:01 AM
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Wow, I'm sorry to hear this. What is the reason for this? Is it because of slight theological differences that your child and spouse take very seriously? If so, then I would probably respect their request and try to work things out with them. On the other hand, is it because your child and spouse have given up the faith altogether (say, by becoming a mormon, atheist, or secularist)? If so, then I would probably talk to your child (and spouse) a bit more. Think of something that might convince them to change their minds. For instance, they might find it persuasive if you tell them that the world won't unanimously agree with them, and their children are going to have to learn to be confronted with new and unfamiliar ideas. Or, you could simply suggest that different people believe different things, and that you believe that Christ is so important that you simply must talk about him with those whom you love. Etc. In the end, if they are so hostile to the faith that they effectively want you to pretend to be a secularist/atheist when around their children (even after talking this out with them), then you would need to become very creative in how you make an impression on your grandchildren while making sure that you don't cater (in the least) to their atheistical requests.

I don't know, though. I'll be sure to pray for you in this situation.

Yours,
John


"He that hath light thoughts of sin, never had great thoughts of God." ...John Owen
Lynda #43910 Thu Dec 24, 2009 5:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Lynda
We are suddenly not allowed to take our grandchildren to church nor to talk to them about God.

I don't know what to say or do.
Lynda,

Doubtless, something major has occurred in your immediate family which brought about this strange request. Without knowing something more of the why's and how's, sound counsel cannot be offered. Can you share some of the details of the situation?

In His grace,


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simul iustus et peccator

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Lynda #43911 Fri Dec 25, 2009 12:27 AM
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Lynda,

This must be very hard for you. Losing one's child physically is one thing but being separated with one's child because he/she deliberately falled out of the faith, is much more than that.

We have three sons and I think I understand some of your anguish.

Pray for you.

Johan


jmp #43914 Sat Dec 26, 2009 5:57 AM
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Originally Posted by jmp
Wow, I'm sorry to hear this. What is the reason for this? Is it because of slight theological differences that your child and spouse take very seriously? If so, then I would probably respect their request and try to work things out with them. On the other hand, is it because your child and spouse have given up the faith altogether (say, by becoming a mormon, atheist, or secularist)?

They have been atheists for several years, but were much more tolerant before.

Originally Posted by jmp
If so, then I would probably talk to your child (and spouse) a bit more. Think of something that might convince them to change their minds. For instance, they might find it persuasive if you tell them that the world won't unanimously agree with them, and their children are going to have to learn to be confronted with new and unfamiliar ideas.

They are aware that the children will run into ideas, but they don't want them to be educated in Christianity while they are young.

Originally Posted by jmp
Or, you could simply suggest that different people believe different things, and that you believe that Christ is so important that you simply must talk about him with those whom you love.

I basically said this to them right after I posted here. Right now there is so much misunderstanding that communication has practically shut down.


Originally Posted by jmp
Etc. In the end, if they are so hostile to the faith that they effectively want you to pretend to be a secularist/atheist when around their children (even after talking this out with them), then you would need to become very creative in how you make an impression on your grandchildren while making sure that you don't cater (in the least) to their atheistical requests.

I appreciate this so much because I was really in tears over this. And this is what I need...some practical advice.

Originally Posted by jmp
I don't know, though. I'll be sure to pray for you in this situation.

Yours,
John

I always appreciate prayer. Every Bible, book, or anything else that has to do with Christianity that we have given the grandchildren has disappeared from the home. The children have said, "I can't find my Bible."

Johan #43915 Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Johan
Lynda,

This must be very hard for you. Losing one's child physically is one thing but being separated with one's child because he/she deliberately falled out of the faith, is much more than that.

We have three sons and I think I understand some of your anguish.

Pray for you.

Johan

Thank you so much. I'm in a lot of emotional pain.

Pilgrim #43916 Sat Dec 26, 2009 6:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Pilgrim
Originally Posted by Lynda
We are suddenly not allowed to take our grandchildren to church nor to talk to them about God.

I don't know what to say or do.
Lynda,

Doubtless, something major has occurred in your immediate family which brought about this strange request. Without knowing something more of the why's and how's, sound counsel cannot be offered. Can you share some of the details of the situation?

In His grace,

Thank you. This has been coming. I saw the signs. But I'd rather not share at this time except to say that our child was scared to death of hell through no fault of my own and then a lot of things happened over which I had no control. Now they have atheist friends who support their distrust and hatred of Christianity.

Lynda #43917 Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:25 AM
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Your situation is unfortunate, but the situation that exists with your child(ren) is far worse since they are estranged from God due to their depravity of soul. Your need of loving your grandchildren by expressing to them in various ways the goodness, grace and mercy of God in Jesus Christ is what your child(ren) also need as you well know. There are myriad ways of bringing the Gospel to hopeless and helpless sinners. It doesn't necessarily have to be and usually isn't very prudent, to be blunt... i.e., insensitive to the fact that they are image bearers of God who still have feelings, etc. The Holy Spirit was well aware of situations such as yours and similar ones as well when he moved Peter to write:

Quote
1 Peter 3:1-5 (ASV) "In like manner, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your won husbands; that, even if any obey not the word, they may without the word be gained by the behavior of their wives; beholding your chaste behavior [coupled] with fear. Whose [adorning] let it not be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on apparel; but [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in the incorruptible [apparel] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands:"
Yes, yes... I know Peter is addressing women who are married to unbelieving husbands to whom they are to submit lovingly. But the principle is what should be grasped in this passage. These women who are mated to unbelievers are not to beat their unbelieving husbands over the head with the Bible but rather to remain silent and let the grace of God, the Spirit in them working to conform them to the image of Christ their Savior, show forth. Simply put, the way they act around and toward their unbelieving husband matters and does convey the truth that which you want to speak about is real... Look at my life and see for yourself. grin

This is NOT teaching that a virtuous life is a substitute for the spoken, or read Gospel. nope For that "is the power of God unto salvation" (Rom 1:16; 10:14-17). But a Christ-like life does speak volumes which people do see and it can be such a life that God uses to bring forth questions from those who are given to notice that you are so different.

We shall also be praying that God will move in the hearts of your child(ren) and also in the hearts of your grand children, all of whom need to be brought to Christ by a mighty and sovereign work of God's Spirit of grace.


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Pilgrim #43919 Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:55 PM
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I need lots of prayer here. I was criticized most of my childhood and when people jump on me I raise my voice in denial. *embarrassed* Don't jump on me, and I'll go out of my way to be kind and to speak kind words. I absolutely love these grandchildren having spent more time with them (because of close proximity) than any of the others. I'm positive that they're very fond of me. When we went over with cookies and doughnuts today, I was asked, in front of my young grandson, "Why are you here with cookies? You don't like us!" I said that that was a lie. Then the spouse jumped on me, so we left. I have made it obvious since the birth of their first child that I would do anything in the world for those grandchildren. And the oldest child, a girl, has been going to church with us for several years.

Thanks so much for the prayers.

Quote
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Lynda #43920 Sat Dec 26, 2009 7:15 PM
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Oh, this grandma's heart is breaking as I read this post! Surely, this is a situation in which reliance upon the GOODNESS of God will be a deep comfort, albeit bittersweet. Be comforted that your grandchildren KNOW you--the real you. They have felt your love and experienced your closeness throughout all their lives up to this point. I'm sure it will be confusing to them to hear things said about you that do not comport with what they know to be true, but take heart--that may be the very thing God uses to guard their hearts against the destructive falsehoods of atheism. It is my prayer that your relationship with the children will continue undeterred and that God would guard and protect their minds and hearts against the falsehoods that they are being exposed to. I pray, too, that the children, along with both parents, would be brought to faith in Christ and life everlasting through the power of the Holy Spirit.


Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's love and the future to God's providence." - St. Augustine
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gotribe #43930 Mon Dec 28, 2009 7:16 PM
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Lynda,
My heart goes out to you. How difficult this must be for you.
However, if you will take my advice you will say nothing that will cause your children to sever relations with you altogether. They have the right to bring their children up as they see fit. You should accept that for the time being, and make sure that you keep contact with your grandchildren. I don't know their ages, but they will not be little children for ever and as they grow up they will question their parents' views and may come to you for counsel.

The most important things you can do is to pray without ceasing and maintain contact.

may God grant you your hearts desire.

Steve



Itinerant Preacher & Bible Teacher in Merrie England.
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Lynda #43931 Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:14 PM
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Who,s stopping you?
gil


gil
gnarley #43934 Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:42 AM
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Originally Posted by gnarley
Who,s stopping you?
gil

I'm with gotribe and Steve(grace2U). I'd like to continue seeing the children.


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