you are both (husband & wife) Calvinists in doctrine and life, and there is a biblical PCA church within a reasonable distance from your home, then I cannot understand why remaining in a semi-Pelagian congregation is even an option?
I DO understand that people develop friendships and very close bonds with others. But our love and bond with Christ should far exceed any earthly relationship. We are to follow Him at all costs... and there are costs to be sure, sometimes great. But that fellowship of the saints and the unity that exists between them is greatly dependent upon the TRUTH, which the Spirit brings and uses to bind true believers together. Where there is untruth, then there must be disunity and even factions for the love of the true God, true Christ, true Spirit and true Word is missing to some degree.
Robin mentioned his wrestlings with whether it is right to leave a church. But how much easier it is to come to the right decision when we look to the Confessions, e.g. the Belgic Confession (and others) which sets forth the true marks of a church as:
- The pure preaching of the Gospel (whole counsel of God)
- The right administration of the sacraments
- Proper church discipline
Now, whenever any of these three marks are missing (think 3-legged stool), one is warranted to leave. This precludes, of course, someone who is simply looking for an excuse to leave for unbiblical reasons and nit piks at everything looking for a way out. Matthew 18:15ff must be followed, i.e., there must be an attempt to reason with the church so that it turns from its error(s), and returns to the truth. There is a great advantage when a church is confessional for the office bearers have sworn subscription to the confessional standards.
May the Lord bring conviction to your hearts, grant you wisdom and the courage to do that which God requires of you according to knowledge. And, may the Spirit quench your emotions which often cloud right thinking and thus wrong choices unfortunately result. Do what is RIGHT... and in doing so you will glorify God, which doubtless is your primary desire.
In His grace,