The Highway Forums General Discussion Open Forum Men's and Women's studies

There isn’t enough in your post about your church to give you a real accurate assessment on what I think. But I will give you my opinion based on what you have said. First, on the positive side of things, there seems to be at least an acceptance of good sound theological training, whether for the woman or men. But just because a few groups in the church on a whole are viewing good material doesn’t mean that it’s a balanced healthy church. It just means that there is someone in a particular group who is interested in sharing good biblical truth.

In the situation that you have just described, it seems to me that there is probably a leader in the woman’s bible studies that enjoys sound theological truth and has taken the time to purchase and set up good programs for the woman. And on the other hand, it sounds as if the men’s group isn’t as lucky. They probably have a man leading them that isn’t as educated or motivated to use more theological based material.

So the first problem that jumps out at me is; who is responsible for selecting the study material for these two groups? In my opinion, there should be an ordained church leader responsible for adult education. There should also be an ordained church leader that heads both the woman’s ( a woman deacon ) and men’s group ( a man elder or deacon ). These church leaders should have had to go through an acceptable deacon or elder training course and have proven to the church that they are qualified to be church leaders. They should be knowledgeable of God’s Word and they should be capable of the teaching, maturing and edifying of other members of the church.

I don’t see anything wrong with a men’s and women’s group. I believe that men like having the chance to be in fellowship with other men and talk about men’s issues and vice versa. I also think that it’s a way to develop accountability groups and to spur each other on to be better fathers, mothers, husbands and wives. I also think that it’s a good way to get the men to help out with manly things that need to be done at the church, such as raking leaves, painting, moving heavy furniture etc… And the same for the woman, making meals, cleaning and etc… I’ve enjoyed the ministry opportunities and the fellowship that I’ve had in men’s groups.

But I am in full agreement that the main focus for both of these groups should be on the family. Yes there are going to be single people in these groups, but the singles should be viewing their church membership as being apart of the church family. They should be encouraged to share their time, gifts and talents in ministry to the church family.

The second problem I see here is that there might not be clear instruction and direction coming from the teaching elder or elders or pastors. Everything going on in the church should be under the supervision of the pastor or pastors. There should also be sound preaching and teaching coming from the pulpit. There should be no excuse for anyone not maturing in a church period! Period! If the body isn’t growing in some way then it’s the pastors fault, no if ands or butts about it. I was in the Navy and I still have the Navy’s mentality to where everything that happened on a ship was ultimately the Skippers responsibility. No matter what went wrong, it was ultimately the Captain’s responsibility to see to it that his men were properly trained and capable to handle any situation that could arise. I also believe that hold’s true for the home as well. I believe it’s the husbands/fathers duty to be the head of the household and ultimately responsible for the growth and actions of his wife and children. If there isn’t any growth/maturation going on in the home it’s his fault. This holds true for the local assembly as well. I don’t buy all the bull about how busy the pastor is and how many people are in a particular church and how hard it is for the pastor to be responsible for so many people. Sorry, excuses are like noses, everybody has one. It’s the pastor’s responsibility to Shepard his flock and to lead and guide them. That’s his job, that is his calling. If it’s not being done, it’s his fault.

One last comment, I’m assuming that your pastor or pastor’s are men. So I’m thinking, why aren’t they at the men’s study? Please, please don’t tell me that they or he doesn’t attend to men’s study. If you have a men’s study and the pastor isn’t coming, then you’ve got problems. If he does attend, then why is he allowing weak, watered down material to be used? Just a thought.

As far as the PCA church that I attend, we have excellent woman’s and men’s groups. They focus on the family and church leaders always attend. They are both very edifying and very helpful. I have enjoyed being apart of the men’s group and I have enjoyed having my wife be apart of the woman’s group. We also belong to a small group that focuses on the family and on marriage and we here good, sound expository preaching and teaching from the pulpit.

So to end this, I have found really that when ever there seems to be something out of balance and or a major problem, go to your pastor. That is what he is there for. If he or they don’t seem interested in your concerns then, after prayer and consideration, maybe you should think about looking around for a more biblical church.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Dave.