Excellent reply, thank you. Yes, our pastors and elders are men. The pastor attended the study on occassion when we studied one of the secular books. I would say an average of once every 3 weeks. None of the elders attended, and neither pastors or elders attended when we studied actual theological issues. Now that the new study has started I believe one of the pastors is attending. It's tough because I want to fellowship, and I want to be discipled by other men, but I am not the least interested in this watered down material. I am not interested in learning how to be a "good boy" or how some expert expects me to manage my affairs. .
As far as the women being able to have a leader who wants good material, thats complicated. Partly because it is the women of the church who run things here. The ladies "aid society" is gone, but all the committees and boards are either ruled by a woman or they have the majority, not that the men would oppose what is going on.
It is easy to remove myself and family (as I have done) from these influences, but then our fellowship and participation is erased. I am starting to think I am in the wrong branch of the reformed camp, due to my differences regarding these issues. Thanks again for the replies.

Soli Deo Gloria

JEB