I struggled even trying to figure out where to post this: in the Prayer or Open Forum. Since, sound advice will probably be given I figured the Open Forum may be the best, though most definitely prayer should not be neglected.

Under the posts of each of us here lies a person. I would say that the majority of us struggle with something or at least has a friend that is. Yes struggling with sin, but a specific sin that really gets to us—you know the one, or two. All Christians have these type of struggles (and if you do not then judge yourself if you be in the faith) and yet very little is ever discussed about them. Most are afraid of them even being exposed, much less discussing them with a friend or a stranger (which sometimes is easier).

While each here hopefully has a strong relationship with the Lord have you ever wondered why you are still struggling? Have you sought out proper counsel? Have you received proper counsel? Do you know what the Scripture says concerning your situation? I am not sure anything will be accomplished by this series of posts, which I hope will be forthcoming, but I believe we may each (1) understand each other more fully (2) pray for each other more effectively, and (3) build each other up in the faith.

MY Struggle:

As most of you know back in the 70s I was a homicide detective. This type of work makes you very hardened in several ways. I had arrived to the point that I could walk into a murder scene and eat lunch while working the scene (they no longer do this as it contaminates the scene, but this was then). Blood, gore, brains on the ceiling, etc., no longer phased me in the least bit. I had been shot at and stabbed a couple of times and was quickly climbing the ladder of success. Yes, this is considered success by some standards. Along with this comes an attitude of control. A police officer must be in control, or else he is dead—all understand this, but it transfers over into every area of your life. I became saved and then a ministry developed and now I am here….

Ok, so far, right? Not really. When I became a Christian I saw great victory in a allot of areas instantly. I no longer cussed, nor desired to. I prayed to receive the ability to cry and weep and yes, I now can. I received this amazing urge to read and learn. There were several others, but this is not the point of the post.

One issue seemed to stay behind. The control issue always seems to pop up. The ability to express myself wisely while being in control, without being overbearing. The police teach a very rigid standard here. One wrong slip with a “weak” tone, a word, or a phrase may be your life—literally.

I learned their methodology very well, but it was applied to every part of my life. Though a commanding voice is good to have at times the attitude that can accompany it is not, or at least can be non-Christian. I struggle to get myself from under its control. I am familiar enough with the Scriptures regarding this. I have sought out the proper counsel, but it is still a daily battle. For the most part I have seen victory in my verbal skills, but not in my written ones. Every time I post I must modify something as I think I am being too harsh or should have phrased something differently—attempting to express the truth fully, and not to be mis-understood, et. al. My writing must under go tremendous re-wording at times. Thus, I ask for your understanding and prayers.

P.S. These posts are not meant to be a form of "professional" counseling or a replacement for pastoral counseling you may desire...IMHO it is both Scriptural and comforting to seek out such from a qualified individuals (NANC) that may assist us. Of course, sitting under the Word of God and living out one's Christian life is of utmost importance, as well.

Reformed and Always Reforming,