We're beating the same poor dead horse into glue, and I don't see how Christ is thereby edified. I am sorry for starting this discussion. But perhaps you will allow me to end it.

For hopefully the last time: I do NOT consciously blame God for my fate. Only myself. I haven't the slightest doubt as to God's ability and willingness to save all those who come to Him in repentance and faith. Actually I'm counting on it. I would have no reason to finish out this last remaining part of my life if I weren't assured that those around me who have repented and believed upon Christ will one day go home to be with Him, to know and enjoy Him forever. Or that even those who have not, yet, still might; that God might draw them to repentance and faith in Himself during whatever time remains for them.

And, no, I can't say for certain that I'm reprobate, but I am likely nearing the end of my life, and can certainly say, as would every lost person if he or she was both honest and biblically informed: (a) I have no hope except for the shed blood of Christ; and (b) I as yet see no evidence of the new nature or the indwelling Holy Spirit, and therefore must presume that whatever faith and repentance I have are lacking (MY fault, no one else's), that I remain in a lost and unregenerate state, and that, should He choose to end my life at this moment, I will die in my sins, and remain in them, and in the everlasting punishment they deserve, for all of eternity. He may yet choose to have mercy on me; but, if I were Him, I would not.

Aspiring student of Christ