I think this all started because I requested prayer for my mother who believes that Gods grace is obtained by faith, which is essentially saying grace comes by something we do or merit.

Titus 2:11,12 teaches that grace does two things.
1 It brings salvation
2 It sanctifies us

In eph 2:8-10 we see that faith is a gift of God or that faith and salvation are gifts of God. God will provide faith for those he will save and will have them "do good works."
To say that MY faith is what caused God to show me grace would definitely be boasting and would be a salvation by works.

MJM said "Arminians believe that we are saved by grace alone, and not by works. The CONDITION is that we accept the offer of salvation by faith."
That is a total contradiction and is a salvation by works-not grace alone.
MJM, you need to realize that faith is a good thing that comes from God and not yourself, for there is no one who does good.Rom 3:12

"God doesnt call the equipped; He equips the called."