I did not wish to start an argument over whether I felt J_edwards was being "sensitive" or not.. I do not care about the sensitivity that I may or may not be shown.. I know that I myself if put in his situation would have probably been even more harsh. I was merely trying to explain that he made assumptions as to what I was asking..

I thank him for telling me that he was not sure exactly what I meant, and because of his most recent post I am now aware that at least for a while, I need to write my EXACT thoughts.. I am too used to being around people who know me so well that they can pick out what I mean even in an unclear example.

I wish everyone would stop telling me however that I am not learning or refusing to learn.. I am actually learning a lot.. As I have tried to say in previous posts, yet it seems to have been in vain, I am more of a Reformist than Arminius.. and I would never label myself "Armenian" because I do not agree with all their theological points.. I have always found myself somewhere in the middle until I came here in which case I lean much more heavily towards the reformed.. I believe it was in my most previous post to this that I mentioned that not everything I ask or state here "I" think or hold to be truth.. Many of my questions are ones that I hear from family and friends and so I ask them in an attempt to find an explanation. I never explicitly say, "well my mom and dad, or My friend Bob or Joe want to know," because I feel that answers coming from you guys here on the site will not be the same as if I were asking it personally.. So I ask the question as best I can for them.. I talk to my wife nightly about the things I read here on this site.

I am not going to lie, Reformed theology is a hard thing to swallow especially growing up in a home and church that would oppose it as far as to try and kick a Reformed follower out..(unfortunately this has happened at my old church.. A student professed his belief in Reformed theology and the pastor tried to get him out of the youth group by setting age requirements for EVERYTHING and in doing so made it impossible to attend)

As much as I hate to admit it because until I found this site, I was always trying to find flaws in the Reformed faith in an attempt to make myself feel better for not agreeing.. While I still wont call myself a "Calvinist" (I feel that by calling myself that I am saying that I am a follower of Calvin, and not God), I will however agree that I mostly agree with Reformed theology..

I still have questions of my own that I want/need answered before I would really call myself Reformed however.. I will try to keep them as simple and clear as possible as to keep confusion out of this..

Prayer: What is the purpose of prayer? If all has been planned out, and my mom were supposed to die in the hospital after an auto accident, and I were to be praying for her safety would not matter. I ask this because until I had even heard of Reformed theology, every time I passed an accident on the freeway or highway I would say a little prayer for those affected by it.. Those IN the accident would be safe and recover physically and emotionally, and that their families would be able to handle all that was happening.. Yet now I feel as if my prayers mean absolutely nothing because they will have no affect on the outcome.. Yet I remember as a kid being told that a group that comes together to pray will definitely be heard.. And I see and hear of countless books that talk about the power of prayer.. yet I still feel as if it means nothing...

I will have more later.. It is time for me to leave for a dinner reservation but I hope that I have cleared up some of the "junk" that has created what seems like a small ruckus here on what should be a fun and friendly site.. <img src="/forum/images/graemlins/cheers2.gif" alt="" />