I thank you all for your responses here.. They have given me much to think and ponder on and hopefully one day here soon I will be able to better wrap my mind around these things. I do however have more questions to add to my already lengthy list..
From a reformed view, God "bends" our will into matching His own so that even though we make a choice ourself, it is really a choice based on our will that has been made to match Gods plan?? If I understand correctly? Assuming that to be true, how are we to react to Satan attacking at our lives? If God bends my will to go kill someone or to be the man holding some one hostage, did Satan do anything? It would almost seem as if Satan is still forced to take a back seat to God and yet reap the rewards of lost souls because God planned it that way.. Seems to destroy my ideals of how good and evil work against one another. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else.. I pray that it does.

I am just trying to quiet the war in my head of hearing myself at every decision I make questioning whether it be my choice, Gods choice through predestination and why I am making that choice in either case.. Thank you all though for taking the time to help a somewhat lost one reach around for the truth.